I’m sure most of you have noticed by now I buzzed my hair! It’s super fuzzy and I love how it feels and looks.
Buzzing my hair was an exercise and a symbol for me. I need strength and bravery in this time of my life.
All the energy and focus that went to my hair is now being channeled to my intellect instead. When I look in the mirror, I see my head which holds my mind. And it
reminds me:
how can I “style my mind” today? Because, I don’t have to
style my hair anymore.
Instead, I am strengthening and making my mind a healthier place.
My mental health deserves my time and attention. Following the advice of
my doctors and therapist and taking the medicine they have prescribed
has allowed me to improve to the point where I can walk, talk, and focus
again. I can even play and write music again!
This past week is the first in months that I have been able to write in a
planner and complete tasks on a to-do list. And you know what that
means?
That means I can have a goal, a vision, and actually take steps
towards it. Literally and figuratively.
And that means that I can envision a better future for my family and
work towards that goal,
step by step (no matter what my hair looks like

).
Some of my goals for my physical health are
gaining weight by eating
calorie dense nutritious foods, gaining the stamina and stability to
leave the house without needing a wheelchair.
Some of my mental health goals are
regaining my ability to do simple
mental math, being able to focus to complete a routine or task-list
multiple days in a row, regain my ability to speak without repeating or
slurring words, stopping mid-sentence, and I think with practice my
speech will return to a normal speed. Fingers crossed on that one.
Some of my emotional health goals are
socializing with people more,
especially my friends and family. I’ve isolated myself out of shame, to
hide my symptoms. I didn’t want people to see me this way. But I can’t
do that anymore if I want to have a life worth living. Besides, I’m
doing better and feel acceptable again. And everyone I’ve been honest
with about my condition has only expressed love, healthy concern, and
encouragement to me. And that helps me feel even stronger.
Thanks for being here with me. Much love to you.